Not So Smooth Sailing
by Prissy and Bregan
Summary: Gibbs gets especially creative during a case threatening to go cold. He commands his team to go undercover aboard a romantic cruise ship for couples on their honeymoon. Now, McGee is 'married' to Ziva while Tony looks on. 1-Shot, T-15, AUish w/ Jenny.


**(Not-So) Smooth Sailing**

**A NCIS oneshot inspired by the **_**premise**_** of Suite Life On Deck (but I've never actually seen the show, so I feel fairly confident in stating that other than the fact that some of this takes place on a cruise, it has nothing to do with Suite Life)…**

**This story is a standalone and I wrote it while on my little hiatus from Blank (which will be updated on Sunday night, like usual). There's another one-shot floating around too, but it's not quite done yet, though I'll probably come back to it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, Deep Six, or Achy Breaky Heart. These are owned by Don Bellisario, Timothy McGee, and Billy Ray Cyrus respectively. I should also add here, that one scene within this one-shot, was inspired by a scene in **_**Clueless**_**.**

**And dang, I can't believe I spent so much time and energy on this…**

**Uh, please read? **

**---**

**Thom E Gemcity Ties the Knot in Surprise Wedding**

_Ready to spend the rest of his life with just one woman by his side, so-called 'confirmed bachelor' __**Thom E Gemcity**__ of Deep Six fame, marries Lisa Richards. A rep for Gemcity told __**We**__ that the pair has been quietly dating for more than four years before Gemcity proposed. Upon further investigation, __**We**__ discovered that Lisa Richards is Gemcity's inspiration for one of the most popular characters in his series: Lisa Davis. _

_Gemcity shyly admits in an exclusive telephone interview with __**We**__ that Richards, a native Israeli, is his muse behind the spunky Davis in his Deep Six world, and it is easy enough to conclude now, that Thom bases parts of himself on lovable playboy Tommy. Though, he drops no hints about Tommy and Lisa's relationship in his upcoming book (the third in the series): Under Covers, (set to release in six months) Gemcity's own relationship can only foretell good news for the crime-fighting pair, otherwise known as "Tisa"._

_The pair met in Israel while Gemcity was on vacation. They engaged in a long distance relationship for some time before Richards finally made the move to America and become a citizen. Though Richards still considers herself a de facto Israeli, Gemcity admits that she is more proud to be an American than any other American he knows. _

_Just yesterday, the pair got married in a small ceremony in a private residence. Five witnesses were present as they lovingly exchanged vows. Currently en route to their honeymoon, little details are known about the reclusive couple._

_Below, is the only known picture of the couple. Gemcity went with Richards and two other ladies on a rare night out to exclusive Washington DC club: DC, taken in February 2007. Richards (in a sparkly little black dress and Yves St Laurent leopard jacket) shines next to Gemcity (in Kenneth Cole and his traditional white scarf) as they party for a few hours with unidentified friends of Richards'._

"Break's over!" The manager called out and Taylor groaned, closing her magazine. She fixed her blouse again and went to her post at Luxury Airways. Turning on the light, she fixed a polite smile that threatened to come undone when she realized just _who_ was in front of her: Thom E Gemcity himself, and his brand new wife, Lisa Gemcity. They appeared worn, but smiling all the same. Lisa was much prettier in person than in the picture, Taylor thought.

"Oh," She blinked a few times to regain her composure, "Hello, I'm Taylor, your representative for Luxury Airways. How may I help you two?"

"We'd like to check in our bags and pick up our boarding passes. They should be under Gemcity," the kind author explained, one hand lightly on his wife's shoulder, "Spelled with a 'G'."

"Oh I know." Taylor says weakly

Taylor's fingers moved over the keyboard automatically as she thought frantically of how much a picture of them might be worth. Oh heck, she just wanted her own picture with Gemcity. Or an autograph. But her book was at home, unfortunately.

"I have you both checked in for first class to Athens." Taylor said, printing out the tickets for them as someone else took their bags, "The plane is set to leave about three hours from now, but you can both wait in our flight lounge for VIPs. Nobody should bother you there,"

"That's good." Gemcity said kindly, and Lisa's eyes sparkle as she leans into Gemcity,

"I'm so excited for our trip, Thom." She murmurs, pecking him on the cheek, "A cruise around Europe! Don't I have the best husband?" She questioned Taylor, giving her husband a side hug and he had his arm wrapped around her as well. They appeared happy, though not as handsy as most newlywed couples.

"I would say so, Mrs. Gemcity." Taylor said, genuinely smiling as she wondered how similar Lisa Richards was to her alter ego: Lisa Davis, "Um, may I have a picture of the happy couple?" She asked, trying to sound casual, "We like to put newlyweds on our website."

"Oh really? Well, just this once." Gemcity said, "Do you mind, honey?"

"No." Richards shook her head, giggling, "I am just happy to be your wife." She beamed and Taylor gleefully took their photo.

They walked away with Taylor calling out her congratulations. After they were out of sight, she quickly dialed We Magazine and made 500 bucks. It was a good day in the life of Luxury Airways Representative Taylor.

----------

"Think she bought it?" McGee asks Ziva nervously. They are alone in the flight lounge and Ziva nods, not looking up from the file, which she has already memorized. She however, shoots him a look, a reminder _not_ to break out of character, even if he thinks they are alone.

"Just relax, Thom." Ziva assures him, pulling out her laptop, "I will check to make sure that nobody knows where we are."

"I still can't believe how many people are interested in the fact that I got married." McGee admitted, "I mean, we made the front cover of We Magazine!"

"_You_ made the cover." Ziva corrected, "They used some picture of you from a book signing and I was inside a little circle." She scoffs, "I look terrible in that picture by the way."

McGee chuckles, and his phone rang. He pales, seeing who it is. "Crap. I didn't tell Sarah anything. What do I do?"

"Tell her the truth, as you and I know it." Ziva said lightly, her eyes sharp. McGee gets her meaning quickly.

"That we fell in love?" McGee asked, "Sarah won't believe that. For one thing, she's seen you with-Ton-ah-other men."

"Yes, but that is before I chose only you." Ziva said simply. She pats him on the shoulder and stands up to look out the window, giving McGee the resemblance of privacy.

She does not comment on McGee's remark on a 'thing between her and _Tony_,' a fact that doesn't go unnoticed by the sharp McGee. Sighing, he picks up and greets his furious sister.

After wincing through ten minutes' worth of hysterics about how she wasn't invited and how she had to find out that her big brother was _married _through a tabloid magazine, she finally settled down long enough to listen to McGee.

"Sarah, look." McGee massaged his head, "All I can tell you is that I fell in love with my partner. You can tell Mom that." He winces to himself, thinking of the world of hurt he is in for when his mother discovers that her baby boy has gotten himself up and married.

"Yeah, and that's another thing." Sarah shot back, "I don't even _know_ this Lisa Richards. And I thought your partner's name wa-"

"I can't explain it, Sarah. Not now, anyway," McGee said lightly, wisely allowing his sister to make her own judgments, "Just tell Mom that Thom E Gemcity fell in love with _Lisa_ and that we're planning to do a big wedding party once we come back from our honeymoon, okay?"

After a pause, McGee knew Sarah had figured it out: Big brother was on an undercover op.

"You're going to be so dead when she finds out." Sarah said finally, and McGee's heart sank. Of all the days, couldn't he have one day where his sister wouldn't be so amused to rat him out. Granted though, he could understand the appeal, since Sarah was usually the screw-up and he was the perfect little boy.

"I'm calling her _right_ now." Sarah sang out, gleeful

"Sarah, do-" McGee stopped once he realized that she hung up. Sighing, he glanced and looked over at Ziva, who is standing at the window, staring out at the tarmac.

"I'm blocking my mother, my sister, and my father." McGee said, scrolling down his phone, "For my sanity anyway." After that quick motion, he leans over to the laptop and pulls up Internet Explorer.

He types in the web address for We Magazine and is not surprised to see a giant picture of him and Ziva smiling from ten minutes ago. The details about their location are also leaked, as they wanted. Ziva walks over and chuckles, glancing at the headline: "GEMCITY MARRIES A GEM."

"Don't we look like a happy couple, honey?" McGee teases,

"Very much so," Ziva chuckles.

------

"Tony, in place?" Gibbs barked out and Tony nodded, rubbing his eyes. While the newlyweds were enjoying a first class ride to Greece in the throes of luxury, he'd hopped a cargo plane with Gibbs, bounced around from DC to London to Turkey to Greece. Gibbs slept most of the time while Tony attempted it.

"Yes, boss." Tony muttered from his place on the cruise ship: _Forever_. It was the most expensive and exclusive cruise, targeted at nouveau riche newlyweds. It only sailed once every year and had a two year waiting list. However, celebrity status generally got couples higher up on the list.

McGee thus, had been forced to finish another Deep Six book and generate publicity for it. Then his secret wedding to 'Lisa' managed to skyrocket his image and got him one of the coveted fifteen spots on the list.

While McGee and Ziva got to enjoy themselves on the cruise, Tony was a photographer, sending digital copies both to the computer onboard as well as Abby, via satellite. As for Gibbs, the team leader was in charge of security detail (which was composed of undercover SEALs, actually), as _Forever_ outsourced for security measures.

Even Jimmy was on deck, as a medical professional. He'd been excited about the undercover assignment…at least until they boarded the plane and he threw up on Tony's shoes. Fun times.

Ducky was back at Navy Yard with a corpse that had yet to be connected to the Yost case. However, Gibbs had a gut instinct, so Ducky was combing over the body. Meanwhile, Jimmy was dispatched to _Forever_ as 'Dr. Paul James' just in case anything 'untoward' occurred.

As for Abby, though she'd begged Jenny to be allowed to come along with the big kids, Jenny had her staying home in the lab. However, she was texting Tony as he took his pictures. So far, Tony had only taken posed photos of each wedded couple as they came toward the stern, expressing delight at the sun and the chance to pose.

Meanwhile, Abby, in between processing evidence and scanning the pictures for aliases (though unlikely), is happily promoting Gemcity and Lisa's marriage as if she is Gemcity's actual representative. McGee, in actuality, has never hired a representative.

Tony bristles over how casually McGee and Ziva signed the marriage license with their aliases' names and he had to ink his own down as a 'witness.' Tony DiNozzo: Witness to Fake Wedding.

No vows were exchanged. No dress had been worn. Instead, Gibbs barked at the pair to start acting like happy newlyweds and go first class to Greece.

Tony knew he should've written a book.

Then he wouldn't have to be a photographer, but the rich playboy taking his lady of the moment aboard a fancy craft. That would be a role he wouldn't mind playing. He could certainly play it better than McGee.

There was the devil himself, with Ziva leaning on him. McGee looked sharp in an Armani suit, his hair gelled back and sunglasses (embedded with a small lens) centered on his face as he smirks at Tony. Ziva, for her part, looks radiant in an off-shoulders creamy wedding dress that complements her olive skin perfectly. She beams at Tony and Tony for a moment, is struck by the feeling that McGee is walking her to him. As if Tony is the groom waiting for his blushing bride.

"Oh, how beautiful, Thom!" Ziva's voice cuts through him, her face not even looking at him. "Let's stand here, honey, by the flowers." She gestures to a spot near Tony, her hair up in a bun that has small white flowers tucked in it. For a second, she smiles at him, her brown eyes turning to honey in the sun and he is struck by her beauty.

But the effect is ruined when she breaks their eye contact and smiles at McGee, who takes her in his arm and looks at Tony expectantly.

Like that, Tony recalls that in this scene, he is only a lowly, underpaid photographer taking a photo of a jetsetting couple. Like the fourteen other couples, they were dressed in their wedding attire and all smiles. Back in role, Tony snaps a few pictures of him, though he feels weird, seeing Ziva's hand on McGee's chest and McGee's hand on the small of her back. They look at each other lovingly, and though Tony knows it is an act, it bothers him.

"You look very pretty in that gown, Mrs. Gemcity." Tony says softly and they nod back at him, drifting away as a different couple boards the ship. The targeted couple, which puts Tony on alert, as well as McGee and Ziva.

McGee and Ziva loiter by a table and take two glasses of champagne, murmuring to each other while the target is in Ziva's peripheral vision.

"Oh Bobby," The newest bride on board gushes to her husband, "Oh this is so unreal. I can't believe you actually did this," She turns back and tongues her husband, Tony feeling uncomfortable.

Unruffled, Bobby Yost beams at her, "Well, Valencia, I promised to treat you like a princess, didn't I?" He sucks her face again and Tony clears his throat.

Bobby Yost is the only child of Admiral Robert Yost. The Yosts are a family from old money and with blood bluer than the sky.

Bobby, as the reckless slacker son, has been engaged in a series of illicit activities and manages to find his way out of them with his father's help. The president himself had asked SECNAV, who in return commanded Jenny, who forbid Team Gibbs from touching the Yost family unless it could be 99.9 percent _proven_ that Bobby Yost was guilty of running one of the largest naval arms-smuggling rings. And killed to keep it running.

All they had, at this point, was conjecture and testimonial evidence. Abby was still processing a lot of things, but most of these items could be ruled irrelevant in court. They needed something more. And Ducky had nothing concrete on the body, save a few unusual wounds that he couldn't match up with any known weapon. But their victim had known ties with Bobby Yost, whose fingerprints were on the body of PFC Kenneth Sparks.

And that was why they were now undercover, with the permission of Jenny, granted by the SECNAV and discreetly relayed to the President of the United States. This was a big operation, and everyone knew it.

"Picture of the happy couple?" Tony asks, smiling dazzlingly

Valencia Yost squeals and nods her consent, though Bobby appears annoyed at the interruption. However, he smiles through the pictures, looking at his bride's excessive cleavage most of the time. Tony wonders vaguely how much her boob surgery cost.

Valencia's involvement with Bobby Yost raised some flags. After all, Valencia's father, Vincenzo Luigi, was a known member as a leader of the arms-smuggling race. Second only to La Grenouille, Vincenzo was very good at not getting caught while establishing street credit. He could move large shipments of arms and do pretty much whatever he wanted at any given time, though the CIA had been trying for years to wrest him in their control.

However, Valencia marrying Bobby Yost was basically going to give either Bobby or Vincenzo a lot more power in the arms race. NCIS was moving quickly to try and bring down Bobby Yost before anyone sold weaponry to terrorists.

Which was why its best agents were onboard a two week cruise ship. Tony wondered how McGee would be able to handle two weeks on a boat, considering how much Dramamine he had to take the last time he was on a boat.

"I don't feel so hot." McGee mutters softly to Ziva as they sit down. He is pale.

Ziva checks him, "You are a bit clammy. Don't you have your seasick pills, darling?" She asks, worried

"Just waiting for it to take effect." McGee hopes that this assignment will end soon.

"Here." A new voice says, and the pair look up to see a fellow passenger, also donning a wedding dress, smile at them. Her hand is outstretched with a white pill, "These are the only things that work for me on boats."

"Oh, thank you." Ziva smiles, accepting the pill before hesitating, "But I don't want my husband to take anything that hasn't been prescribed by his doctor. He has a very sensitive nature. But if it doesn't improve in an hour, I'll have him take it." She hands McGee the pill, and he absently pockets it in his jacket.

The woman nodded knowingly, "Writers always have the most sensitive temperaments, I should know."

"Oh, is your husband a writer too?" Ziva asked politely, "I'm Lisa and this is Thom."

"I'm Margie and my husband is somewhere on his cell phone. No, my brother is an _aspiring_ writer, with dreams of becoming the next Paolini or Gemcity." Her laughter tinkles and Ziva laughs along

"Sorry, honey, I got tied up with the office. Here is my phone." A man with thinning gray hair walked over. He glanced over at his wife's new friends and smiled, "Ah of course, Margie's already been making friends. Pete Nathans,"

"Oh the software company?" McGee asked, intrigued,

Peter grinned, "One and the same."

"Peter, this is Thom and Lisa Gemcity," Margie filled in for her husband, grinning

"Let me just tell you, that I love your products, but the upgrades seem like a joke." McGee started, before continuing on in a lot of technical speak that only Peter understood. The two men spoke like that for the rest of the afternoon and Margie just shook her head,

"I didn't know that your husband was a tech-talker too, otherwise I would've stayed away." She joked, "I'm trying to get Pete to relax, have fun, _not_ think about work so much. That's what a second honeymoon is for, after all."

"Thom loves computers, I'm afraid," Ziva explained kindly, still having Bobby and Valencia in her line of sight, though it wasn't much to look at, considering that they were just making out.

"I'm still jazzed to hear that Thom marries you after all. I feel like I know you both already, just from little bits and pieces that are in Deep Six."

"Oh, I'm very different from Officer Lisa, I assure you." Ziva said kindly, "After all, when I fell in love with Thom, there were no games, like the ones between Lisa and Tommy."

"Oh really?" Margie asks, "Well, nonetheless, it's great to find a friend on here. I was worried that most of the couples would be like the face-suckers over there." She gestures to the Yosts, who are too caught up in each other to take notice.

By dinnertime, Ziva and McGee managed to meet the other couples and felt overwhelmed by the statuses of everyone onboard. There was a movie director, a lesbian couple, and a football star among those attending. Not to mention a video game designer who McGee considered his hero. Ziva had a headache from smiling so much, and glaring at McGee to stop googling so much and stay professional.

Tony was taking pictures of everyone as they ate at small tables each set for two and far away enough so that private conversations could be had. He'd already been ordered to stay away from the movie director who was responsible for directing one of Tony's favorite films.

There was a small stage in the center, where a sultry singer was alternating between making eyes at Tony and singing softly with her guitar. Taylor Swift, she was not, but the music was pleasant enough for conversation or making out.

Bobby and Valencia were sitting smack-dab next to each other, alternating between kisses and feeding each other cake. Once Ziva and McGee glanced around and realized that everyone was doing some version of this lovey-dovey behavior, they shifted their chairs closer together and tried to look more like newlyweds as they snuck food from each other's plates, laughing quietly. Neither fed the other or attempted to kiss and slob the other's face, but they felt more 'married.'

At least until Gibbs muttered into their ears, "_Step it up, McGee, you're on your honeymoon. Try to make it more convincing."_

McGee coughs, "How?" He mutters, glancing at Ziva who just smiles prettily at him, content with giving him a hard time.

"_How do you think Probie?!?"_

McGee turns red at that comment and glances at Ziva who nods and gives him permission.

Tony forces himself to take pictures of the Nathans feeding each other. However, he doesn't look away long enough and catches McGee and Ziva in a position that he never expected to see. He knew about it, as he was on the same connection as they were, but it still threw him off for a few seconds.

Then he managed to find the ability to move again and walks over to McGee and Ziva. McGee is flushed and Ziva appears less composed than usual. She is not one for such blatant affection in public, after all.

"Another picture of the handsome couple?" Tony croaked, smiling at them though he half felt like clocking McGee.

"As many as you can." Ziva says winningly, brushing away a strand of hair as she looks up at Tony, uncomfortable. McGee adjusts his glasses, feeling like he has betrayed a trust, crossed a line.

Tony complies before moving on to take pictures of the Yosts and McGee looks at Ziva,

"It is a sign of weakness, Thom." Ziva reminds him softly before McGee can apologize, "How do you feel?"

"Better, now that the Dramamine's kicked in." McGee admitted, "And that er…was nice too." He admitted softly, though neither of them felt anything.

Ziva chuckled, "Thank you, dear." Her eyes glitter, as if she is amused and McGee can't help but follow her lead, even if on the inside he's only thinking about how much Tony is going to kill him. Well, if not kill him, then at least wake up and realize that he was the one for Ziva.

It couldn't get any worse than this, McGee considered. After all, he was basically palming his partner and his partner's girl. Nobody would surely expect him to get in a even more compromising position.

Oh, no, he'd been very wrong in that guess. Very, very wrong.

------

As Valencia and Bobby were on the naked sunbathing deck, guess where McGee and Ziva found themselves? McGee was trim, due to his longtime exercise regimen and he now knew that _this_ was the reason why he'd worked so hard to get rid of the chub. Now at least he could hold his own in public. Even if he wasn't exactly comfortable with the naked bit.

Much to his relief, he was able to keep his towel firmly over his private areas and recline back on the seat, wearing tinted glasses and very studiously _not_ looking at Ziva, whose gun was hidden in her towel, which was underneath the chair as the sun rejoiced in her glorious nakedness.

"Tim, I will not gouge your eyes out." Ziva whispers softly to him, her eyes shut. "Read your book and just try to act more _friendly_ toward me."

"I am friendly." Tim says quietly, confused

She sighs huffily, knowing that Tim won't do it. _Tony_ wouldn't have hesitated to try and make them look like a couple. But only because…

She does not allow herself to continue down that train of thought.

Instead, Tim is reading a book with the camera inside facing toward where Valencia is giving Bobby a back massage.

"_McGee._" Gibbs voice barks out quietly, "_We aren't looking at you, but I can damn well see that you aren't doing anything to make the targets approach you. Make a spectacle of yourself already."_

"I-" McGee trails off and Ziva rolls her eyes.

"Close your book, Thom, and pay attention to _me_." She teases lightly, closing the book and slipping it against the table, where so Gibbs can still see Bobby and Valencia.

McGee is suddenly very _very_ aware of the fact that Ziva is naked and currently smiling at him like all she wants to do is…well, _lick_ things. It is a very disturbing thought.

He just managed to get past bedtime, because he took the couch and Ziva the bed. Tony came in at one point, with Gibbs, for recon. And Gibbs told McGee he had to dial it up more, be more affectionate. They had to attract the couple to them. And the easiest way to attract that sort of couple is to make them think that there is a 'hotter couple' than they.

When Gibbs walks out and Ziva is in the bathroom, Tony turns to McGee, his eyes sharp.

"Look Tim…" Tony hesitates before giving McGee a hard look, "Man up and do what needs doing."

On that recollection, McGee leans in and crushes his mouth to Ziva's. She relaxes herself on top of him, half laughing. The towel is still between them and that is McGee's only saving grace right now. He has his mother's voice in his head, just screaming her head off about what a bad boy he was being. This was after all, _Tony's_ girl.

"Ooh, honey, stop, stop." Ziva giggles and pulls herself off McGee, bringing the book up to cover some rising consequences happening with McGee. Her eyes sparkle in a way that says _Target Locked_. Or perhaps it is just Gibbs' voice saying that in their ears.

He takes a breath to calm himself down after that heady session.

"Wanna go back to the room, lover?" Ziva asks in a voice that carries easily over to their nearest neighbors. She stands and casually puts her bathrobe back on, and only McGee can see the relief in her eyes. He happily grabs his own, never quite so relieved until now to have clothing.

Even that time when Sarah hid his clothes after he agreed to her dare to skinny dip in the base commander's pool wasn't so bad. And he'd gotten caught by a gaggle of Sarah's friends and his babysitter, who he had a raging crush on.

"Oh excuse us." Valencia calls out, smiling at the two of them, "I'm Valencia Yost and that's my husband, Bobby." She points over to Bobby, who hasn't moved from his spot, not interested in them.

"Well that's Thom and I'm Lisa." Ziva explained lightly

"Right, like Tommy and Lisa from the book." Valencia says, beaming and McGee glances at her breasts, wondering if they're real.

"That's right, but I like to think that I am cuter." Ziva says cheerfully, "We were just leaving to have some bridal fun in our room. Good thing the rooms are soundproof, no?"

"Oh I know!" Valencia giggles again, "I was actually planning on doing the spa makeover later, but Bobby's refusing, so I was wondering if you'd be willing to girlfriend up with me, Lisa? Surely Bobby and Thom can discuss sports or something?" She jokes

"Or something." McGee says, nodding, "That sounds fine with me."

"We should be back by lunch." Ziva promises, "When is this spa makeover?"

"Oh, one thirty," Valencia beams, "I'm so happy!"

She prances off to Bobby, happy again and McGee looks at her a little too long. Ziva laughs and guides him away.

"How do you think Abby would react, Tim?" She asked, warningly

"I know." McGee sighed, "But at the same time we aren't really anything, so…" He trails off, "What are we doing for an hour and a half, by the way?"

"_Recon McGee. Tony's coming in to take personal photos of the happy couple. Get a plan together."_ Gibbs barked out and McGee rubbed his ear, wincing. Ziva laughed, tying her robe securely.

-----

Tony is in the room when they arrive. He stands when they come in and McGee feels the sudden awkwardness of being the third wheel between two people that desperately need to talk.

McGee excuses himself to use the bathroom, so Tony is alone with Ziva. He clears his throat and sets his earwig piece down. Ziva does the same. For many moments, they stand there, staring at each other, daring the other to go first.

"I pretend he is you, Tony." She whispers softly, gazing at him, her brown eyes glassy.

It is the most frank that either of them has ever dared to be. For what feels like hours, Tony stares at her, very aware of how fast the world is moving around him.

"I don't want to pretend." He takes a step toward her. She gazes up at him with such a hopeful look that it almost breaks his heart. Slowly, he touches the side of her face, shaky.

Then he lunges and kisses her, fearing that she might pull away at the last minute. It is a desperate kiss built up with four years' worth of longing and sexual tension.

After fifteen minutes (which McGee determines as enough time for Ziva and Tony to talk), he walks out and sees that Tony has Ziva against the wall, her hands grabbing at his hair while he has one hand tangled up in her hair and the other cradling her leg, which is wrapped around his. They are lost in their own world and McGee cannot break it up. He is too attuned to their feelings to do something so cruel as to interrupt.

Instead, McGee ventures back into the bathroom, sighing. He pulls out his little notebook and starts jotting down the beginning of his fourth novel while lying in the tub, his stomach growing uneasy with every rock of the ship.

Drat. The Dramamine had begun to wear off.

The rest of it was in his bag, next to the bed where Tony and Ziva were probably on, judging from the squeaks and moans emitting from outside the door. Rubbing his stomach, McGee eyed the toilet warily. He hated throwing up.

With some relief, he spotted the white pill that Margie had offered him yesterday. It was next to the sink. His stomach lurched and he got out of the tub and grabbed the pill, swallowing it without reservation.

It worked better than Dramamine, he noted, as he didn't have a migraine anymore (which he still had with the Dramamine) and his stomach felt as stable as a rock. And only three minutes had passed.

A big dopey smile lit up over McGee's face.

--------

Ziva sighed and idly watched Tony pull his clothes back on, feeling satisfied. "That was…nice,"

Tony smirks, eyes shining at her, "I just hope you leave this ship with that _nice_ memory overshadowing the others." His throat hitches and she nods, knowing what he means.

"Oh God, McGee. He was in the bathroom the whole time," Ziva said, the fact suddenly dawning on her. She threw her robe back on and opened the door, set to apologize. She did not expect to find McGee just laughing and laughing as he played in the overflowing tub, his robe soaked.

She shut off the tub, pulled on the drain and Tony just laughed at McGee, unable to do anything else.

"McGee!" Ziva frowned, "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"You have really nice boobs." McGee told her brazenly, his eyes cloudy, "My-Muh-my Mama doesn't let me date loose girls. Mama don't…"

"I think he's high." Tony said, bending down to look into McGee's eyes, "Yep, he's high. Did he take something?"

"Just Dramamine." Ziva frowns, "Tim! Tim, did you take anything?"

"I don't like corn. I like _creamed_ corn, but I don't like corn." McGee informs them thoughtfully, "Annnnnd I don't like Ziva. I like naked Ziva, but I don't like Ziva. Like the corn. Corn."

"What?" Tony asks, shaking McGee, "Ziva, did he have anything in his bag besides Dramamine?"

"No," Ziva frowns, "_Oh_. There was a woman. Margie. She gave him a little white pill yesterday when he was complaining that the Dramamine wasn't working."

McGee was still muttering about corn and Tony sighed, "Well, McCorn's out of commission, Ziva,"

"How long do you think he'll be like this?" Ziva asked, peeling McGee's robe off, "Get that towel. We'll put him in bed and Gibbs will yell at him later, no doubt." She glanced at her watch, "We still have an hour though."

"You turn down the bed and I'll get McHigh in it." Tony said, "Good thing we never made it to the bed huh?" He jokes and she glares at him, but leaves to turn the bed down and Tony chuckles, grunting as he helps McGee out of the tub and finds a fresh bathrobe for the babbling idiot.

"You like corn Tony. All corn." McGee informed him, "Right?"

"That's right, buddy. And I also like steak, beer, Philly sandwiches, anything with meat, really."

"No." McGee said firmly, "You only like corn. Only corn and all corn."

"Uh, well, I haven't eaten corn that I didn't like yet." Tony said, uncomfortable, "How long is this drug supposed to take, McGee?"

"I'm not on drugs. I don't do drugs. I'm high on love." McGee counters, still unsteady on his feet, requiring Tony's support, "And I telling-I _am_ saying to you that you love corn. Corny, corny, corn…"

McGee, much to Tony's amusement, begins to sing about corn as Tony and Ziva try to tuck him in bed and figure out what to do.

------

With a half-hour's sleep and fifteen minutes' worth of headslapping by Gibbs, McGee found himself ready for human contact again. Specifically with Bobby Yost. He smiles and first apologizes, explaining that he's just taken a narcotic.

Bobby just chuckles and leans back, sipping his beer. McGee orders himself a tonic water and nurses it as he idly watches the game. Neither of them talk, McGee because his head is throbbing from the headslaps and Bobby because he doesn't have to say anyway.

Meanwhile, Ziva is trying to find a way to get Valencia to _shut up_ about how much she and Bobby do it and how hot it is. Ziva tries to divert to conversation into how Valencia and Bobby meet, but that is as sex-filled as her other stories.

"I am just glad to be married to Thom now, after four years." Ziva tries for another tack, "My father didn't like it at first, but he's getting around to the idea of Thom. What about you?"

"Your dad didn't like a world famous rich writer?" Valencia asks, confused

"My father thought that Thom was a bit of a…how do you say? A weakling. He wanted me to marry someone who wasn't as sensitive as Thom. But Thom is a beast. He just doesn't show it."

"_Really_?" Valencia's eyes sparkle, "God, the sex must be so hot. How often do you guys do it?"

Ziva laughs nervously, "I do not keep count. I think that's rather vulgar, really."

"Oh. Yeah, me too." Valencia admits, half startled. Ziva can tell from Valencia's posture that she is lying and now uncomfortable.

Ziva hesitates, "But I do not mind telling you that it is, as you say," She pauses, thinking of her brief escapade with Tony, "rather hot."

Valencia grins, "I just knew it. I think it'll be three years before you decide to divorce him, _at least_."

"Oh?" Ziva was startled, "Really? I thought that, you know, forever seemed like a nice deal."

"Trust me, a guy like him is great and all, but you'll get tired of Thom." Valencia assured her, "Heck, _I'm_ going to divorce Bobby in a month. He's only into me because I'm sexy and he wants a piece of my dad's family business."

She grins, "I'll catch him cheating on me with his slutretary of the week and get alimony and become an independent woman with mansluts of the month."

Ziva laughs despite herself. She has a newfound bit of respect for Valencia. But she was still confused.

"Why did you marry him if he has these…weekly slut-retaries?"

"Oh." Valencia rolled her eyes, "I married him because Daddy likes his money and he's good in bed. He thinks he's going to get into my dad's position, but Daddy is currently setting up Bobby's downfall."

"Oh?" Ziva asks

Valencia nods, "After I catch him cheating on me and divorce him, Daddy's going to the Navy cops with evidence they can't ignore." Her eyes shine, "Did you know that Bobby likes to make naughty illegal deals at an underground strip club owned by Daddy? Stupid, stupid man. Daddy wires all the strippers, after all, with cameras on their tits."

"So," Ziva concluded, "You're taking all his money and then he's going to jail?"

Valencia blinks, as if thinking hard, "Oh, well, I suppose I am. It's only fair, though. After all, he slept with my maid of honor after the rehearsal dinner and then he slept with my maid on the day of, when she was supposed to be dressing _my_ hair. That is so rude, isn't it? After all, a wedding day is supposed to be _my_ day. And when I was asleep on the flight here, he slept with a flight attendant in the bathroom. What a manwhore."

"He certainly is." Ziva agreed, taking a sip of her wine, wondering what this meant.

"In fact, I only asked you to come along so that your husband could keep an eye on mine. I didn't want him breaking up anyone else's marriage, you know?" Valencia explained, "_And_ I needed a break from him."

--------

"So," Bobby leans back and glances at McGee when a commercial starts, "What are you into? Xanax?"

"Just Dramamine." McGee said, taking another sip of his water, "The Xanax was a bit…strong."

"Not hardcore, are you?" Bobby asks, chuckling

"Nope," McGee admitted, "Just very seasick. But my wife loves cruises,"

"So does mine. I'd rather be doing work, like every other guy here." Bobby said, taking a sip of his beer, "At least you can work on here."

"Nah, I don't have my typewriter." McGee explained, "What do you do, Bobby?"

"I'm a salesman." Bobby sighs, "High end."

"Oh yeah? What's your product,"

Bobby looked over McGee and chuckled, shaking his head, clearly deciding not to throw a pitch at McGee, "Electronics."

"Oh, by the looks of you, I thought it might've been something more ripped. Like guns or something." McGee said casually, "But you're just a cell-phone executive's son or something, aren't you?"

His face darkens, "Watch it, dude."

"Thom." Ziva's voice rings out and McGee is happy to see her.

"Hey Lisa, how was the spa?" He asks

"Just fine. But I missed you. Come, let's go in the hot tub." She throws a sultry smile at Bobby, as she leads McGee over to the hot tub where nobody can overhear them.

She, thankfully, is wearing a bikini and McGee notices (for the first time that afternoon) that he is wearing trunks. Eschewing his shirt, he gets in the tub with Ziva, still feeling a little 'off' from the Xanax. If that _was_ a Xanax.

"Look, Valencia told me that her father is building up a case _against_ Bobby Yost. However, they're not going to turn it over for another month. Bobby apparently has quite the roving eye, so I have a plan." Ziva whispered quietly, not taking Bobby out of her peripheral vision. McGee could see Gibbs in the distance, his back to them but obviously listening to Ziva.

"Oh?" McGee asks weakly

"Valencia happens to _adore_ Thom E Gemcity, did you know?" Ziva grins, "As do a number of the other women onboard."

"Yeah, I've given them all autographs." McGee said, confused

"Yes, but not a special exclusive as to what will happen in your next book. They've all been asking me, so terribly interested in knowing what happens next to Team Tibbs." She snorts as she says this bit.

"I see." McGee says

"So at drinks tonight, you will regale all the women, especially Valencia, with a half hour's discussion to whatever they want to know about the book. Meanwhile, I will be caught in a compromising position with Tony by Bobby, who will then spend the rest of the vacation dogging me. When he is most desperate, I will get the fact that he is currently the mastermind behind all the arms leaving the Navy base and entering those of local gangs up and down the Eastern Seaboard."

"Ah." McGee finishes, absorbing the plan, "Are you sure this will work?"

Ziva leans in and kisses McGee on the forehead, "Like a shark."

"_That's charm, actually, Ziva." _Tony's voice says into the mic, "_And define compromising."_

"_Shut up, DiNozzo."_ The sound of a smack was evident

"_Sorry boss_." Tony mutters meekly

Ziva laughs lightly, her eyes squinting with good humor.

------

Abby stares at the fake wedding picture of McGee and Ziva. At first, she had printed it out and hung it on her wall, tickled. But now it just got on her nerves. McGee the groom was beaming, half like an idiot, and Ziva's hand was on his abdomen, looking _very_ natural there.

She sighed, looking around the empty lab. McGee had been gone for four days now and Abby missed him. She was still processing evidence to take down Bobby Yost, and while she was slaving away in her basement, everyone else was on a _cruise_. Even Ducky and Jimmy! She was left behind…

Well, no. Jenny was here too, after all. Abby soothed herself with that fact. After all, she and the Director were in the same metaphorical boat: loving men that they were stupid enough to give up in the first place.

Not that she loved Tim. She just missed him, and she didn't like the idea of him being married to Ziva. After all, Timothy and Ziva McGee? It was an unstable equation that would undoubtedly lead to a chain of explosions. No matter how adorable they were hailed on the blogosphere and touted in the papers, Abby knew the true McGee and Ziva. They weren't a good fit for each other, marriage-wise.

McGee needed someone who could keep him on his toes, both intellectually and on a personal level. Ziva thought a computer could be fixed with dirty words in foreign languages and would be too intimidating in bed for Tim. He needed someone different. Someone to cuddle with him in the mornings, and knew the joys of decoding code and breaking encryption. Someone who could hold her own against him in _any_ video game, or introduce him to good music like Plastic Death and The Raincoats.

But now it was too late and McGee was probably falling in love with Ziva. And he couldn't choose Ziva. Not even just because that was Tony's girl.

_Tony's girl_. Abby wondered how Tony was doing with this. Perhaps it finally encouraged him to step up and tell Ziva that he loved her. It was almost pathetic to watch Tony convince himself that he didn't love Ziva when he did. And Ziva, Abby knew that she had the softest spot for Tony, which was why she tried so hard to stay away from his natural DiNozzo charm.

At least she didn't love McGee. They had a healthy relationship of lovers turned friends. Just like Jenny and Gibbs. Only health_ier_, because she sometimes caught the heavy gazes laced with wanting and sordid details between the two former partners. She never had that with McGee.

Well, only when McGee started it. She couldn't help it! His bedroom eyes were impossible to look away from, magnetizing in their impossible bright blue color. But thankfully, her lab equipment distracted her from making any irresponsible decisions.

What does Ziva want with McGee anyway? After all, it's _McGee_. He has no sense of fashion. He listens to lectures about jetpacks and string theory on his iPod.

He's not even that handsome! He just thinks he is…

Well, unless he's slicked his hair back in a nod to his alter ego, Gemcity. McGee looks quite dashing then. Especially in that tuxedo in his fake wedding picture.

But…well, he's a workaholic techno-nerd who practically lives in the NCIS building. And he's a terrible dancer, Abby couldn't take him anywhere. Not after the debacle he created at the BrainMatter concert a few months ago with his stupid skinny jeans (which she still planned to steal and incinerate).

"What am I _stressing_ about?" Abby asked herself, frowning as she turned to try and process another piece of evidence. However, her mind wouldn't let her quit the topic.

After all, this was Tim McGee. He was adorable all the time, with the way his smile always made him look like one of these mischievous cherubs in art paintings.

But what would he want with Ziva? She wouldn't make him happy.

McGee needs someone humorous. Someone imaginative. Someone caring. Someone who could appreciate his jokes, down to the worst puns…

"Oh my god." Abby backs away from the microscope, struck by a sudden thought.

She was in love with Timothy McGee.

--------

"Abby, I can't stay t-oh Abby!" Jenny came in with the intention of being quick. She had a call in five minutes. But when she saw Abby singing along to _Achy Breaky Heart_ while underneath her desk, she knew something was wrong. Abby didn't listen to country songs, after all. Especially not ones with Billy Ray Cyrus in them. It was just so _un-Abby_.

Shutting off the music, Jenny put her hands on her hips, "What is going on?"

Abby shrugs, "Sometimes other songs fit my mood better than Brain Matter. It doesn't happen often. And don't worry, it was part of a free package."

"You have an achy breaky heart?" Jenny asked, confused, "Are you dating someone?"

After all, Abby was as much of a workaholic as anyone else on the time and they had no personal life. Jenny would know, after all. As Director, it was her job to know these things.

Abby shook her head, "No. I just had a giant epiphany about Timmy. I love him. I was just so _blind_ I didn't notice it until he got married."

"Fake married." Jenny reminded her gently

"That doesn't look very fake to me." Abby points to the picture that she's framed of McGee and Ziva in their wedding regalia. At first, she'd been tickled to see it, but now it was bothersome to see McGee embracing a different bride and looking _happy_ with another woman for the rest of his life.

"I bet he's fallen for her by now." Abby said, feeling forlorn

"Oh Abby." Jenny embraced her, crooning softly and rubbing the young girl's back, "Come upstairs with me. I'll hold my calls for a half hour and send Cynthia out for ice-cream. I'll just have to make two calls first."

Abby nods, "Okay. Besides I want to finish listening to this song and I have to scan in another set of fingerprints."

"Okay." Jenny kissed Abby on the forehead, unknowingly reminiscent of Gibbs' affection: "You know, you are a very special girl and I am certain that your Timothy McGee knows that all too well to even think of looking at any other girls."

"Even Ziva?" Abby asked, skeptical

"Especially Ziva, as McGee knows, better than anyone else, just how much Tony cares for Ziva." Jenny explains, chuckling, "Come upstairs in about five minutes sweetheart. You need a break anyway, and so do I." She hesitated, "Leave the country music here, though."

Abby laughed and nodded, returning to her work and turning up the dulcet tones of Billy Ray Cyrus' first and (some might argue) only hit: _Achy Breaky Heart_.

---------

"Gibbs," Jethro answered, not checking the caller ID

"Abby is listening to _Achy Breaky Heart_ as we speak." Jenny explained calmly

"Just turn it down. She's a good sport about that." Gibbs said, obviously not knowing the lyrics of the song or its significance.

"Oh no, I'm back in my office. But Jethro, that song…it's a country song." Jenny explained, unsure of how to tell Gibbs that his favorite person was getting a tad unhinged.

There was no response.

Then Gibbs said, "Buy her Caf-Pow? I generally try to give her one to three, depending on the caseload."

"One to th-? _Jethro_, Caf-Pow is nothing but caffeinated sugar in liquid format!" Jenny pursed her mouth, "That much Caf-Pow is not good for her. And anyway, she's got a broken heart _not_ caffeine withdrawal."

Jenny made a note to herself to curtail Abby's caffeine intake. Jethro was bad enough with the way he mainlined strong black coffee.

"Why does she have a broken heart? We're coming back either tomorrow or the day after depending on how well this plan goes tonight. DiNozzo sent you a debrief."

Jenny made a note under her earlier note to check her e-mail when she hung up on Jethro.

"She has a broken heart because she thinks that McGee has fallen in love with Ziva." Jenny explained lightly

Gibbs chuckled on the other side, "I doubt it, Jen. He's too afraid of her to do something as stupid as that."

Both parties were quiet as they became consumed with their own memories of Paris.

"Jen-" Gibbs started and she cut him off,

"No, no, I know what you mean." Jenny said quietly, "That's why I said what I said…when you asked me."

Another pause swallowed the conversation. Jenny didn't dare continue. She could feel how hot her cheeks were and wished desperately that Gibbs would speak.

"If I-" Gibbs broke off of his own accord, speaking roughly, "Uh-I nee-do you regret it?" The last part came out in a burst of forceful energy, a request that she couldn't ignore.

Jenny swallowed, her eyes rimming with unshed tears that she would force to remain unshed.

"If I said 'everyday' that would be a lie. But if I said 'never' that would also be a lie. But today?" She took a deep breath, "Not today, Jethro."

Abby walked in at that minute and Jenny forced herself to smile for Abby's sake, "I need to go. Good bye,"

--------

Gibbs squinted his eyes as he tucked his phone back into his pocket.

Under his breath, he hums the melody to the ever-catchy Billy Ray Cyrus song.

_You can tell the world you never was my girl_…

That line always captivated him with the memory of Jenny's laughter and the way her eyes sparkled when he hugged her. And he felt like his heart was aching and breaking when she refused his selfish request. So he picked up the pieces and moved on, as easily as he had with his girls and other lady loves.

And that damn song had been on the radio every fifteen minutes way back when she'd given him his letter and they parted ways as lovers.

And he made a mental note to order McGee to bring flowers with him for Abby. And a Caf-Pow.

--------

"I like this part." Tony told Ziva, impudent. McGee had managed to get a gaggle of girls, including Valencia to listen to an impromptu book reading. Some of the men were secretly relieved, as it turned out that the majority were workaholics who had affairs with their respective cell phone carriers.

Ziva just laughed quietly, looking at him brightly. They were 'alone' but easy enough to discover. Tony had forgotten to lock the door to a closet and any wandering soul could come in and see an eyeful. Ziva set this trap, however, for one _particular_ wandering soul.

Latching her lips to Tony's, she allowed herself to lose herself in him. His hand moved up her back and tangled into her hair. He groaned quietly, trying to remember the last time he fooled around in a closet.

Not since college, at least. But it was hard to recall right now, with Ziva peeling off her top.

Ziva reveled in the way he looked at her. He made her feel like she was the only girl in the room. Well, the only one who mattered to him, anyway. And that was a lovely feeling.

Drunk with heady passion, she reached forward and captured Tony in another sweet kiss. It quickly grew aggressive and desperate as they clawed at each other, panting.

Ziva almost didn't hear the creaking of the door, but thankfully, her superhearing picked it up and she stopped Tony, shifting into professional undercover agent mode.

Well, about as professional as she could get, feeling aroused at the same time. Tony's own _feelings_ were no help in the situation, but she took a breath and smiled prettily as Bobby stared at her in astonishment.

"Do you mind closing the door, sweetheart? He's shy." She fluttered her lashes for effect and Bobby closed his mouth, but not before licking it. It made her shudder, but he shut the door and Tony wrapped his arms around her, a gesture of protection and not wanting.

"I'm not going to like this next part, am I?" Tony muttered, helping Ziva put her top back on.

"I do not think so. But it is necessary." Ziva whispered back. "We should stay here for a few minutes. Make sure that he's not watching or anything."

"Good idea." Tony reached in and kissed her again, unable to resist. Kissing her felt good and he wanted to do it as much as he could. Her kisses were enchanting him in a way that no other kisses had.

-----

At breakfast, Ziva was frustrated.

The night before, she had come back, smiling winningly and only the slightest disheveled from her excursion with Tony. But other than a glance in her direction, Bobby hadn't paid her much attention. As for her 'husband' he was receiving plenty of attention from a few captivated fans as they sniffled, listening to him.

"What is so sad?" She asked, sitting at an empty chair, or at least attempting. However, Margie sat up and insisted that Ziva take her seat while she went to go spend time with Pete. McGee just smiled at her,

"Oh honey, I was just telling them about how we _really_ fell in love, that's all. But being a writer, I may have sentimentalized it."

"I'm sure you did," Ziva grinned, pecking him on the cheek, "I hope you let someone else talk too, Thom."

"Of course. Valencia here told me that she and Bobby met at church. Apparently it was quite the meet-cute."

Ziva made a mental note to ask McGee what that was later.

Valencia just laughed, "Oh, no, not really. It's certainly not as _sweet_ as how you and Lisa met. Just two stupid kids who crashed a wedding because they heard that a famous rapper was supposed to be in attendance,"

Ziva chuckled, thinking of the mental picture and McGee smiled as well.

"That sounds much more conventional that ours, honestly." McGee told Valencia.

Ziva wondered just what story that had been after all.

"Still though, I was so amused by how well you wrote Lisa and Tommy's first meeting with the phone sex thing. It made me laugh too hard that I couldn't read until I settled down." Valencia admitted, "I can't believe you made that all up."

"Well, _Deep Six_ is a fictional book based on mostly fictional people, though Tim has been known to draw inspiration from the people around him. A _lot_ of inspiration sometimes," Ziva said, her eyes sparkling as she smirked at McGee who just shifted in his seat.

"Yeah, and our real meeting is too sentimental to put down." McGee explained awkwardly.

"Oh, I gotta go and play with Bobby." Valencia apologized, glancing toward her husband, "But I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast. Bobby loves the bacon here."

"Of course. We will go and _play_ too." Ziva said, grinning.

And now, it was morning. Valencia was chirping away about something too vacuous that Ziva couldn't focus on it. But McGee was listening to her. As for Bobby, he was just chomping on his bacon, not looking to be social. She had to get him alone. But he had to get her alone first. Which meant that McGee had to distract Valencia. But only better.

The cruise limited her options.

"I am going to go work out." Ziva announced, on a stroke of inspiration. She'd seen Bobby in the fitness room before and she knew that Valencia was not the kind of girl who did that particular brand of sweating. She kissed McGee on the top of his head, walking away and trying to highlight her bottom. She'd been told before that it was one of her best characteristics.

Sure enough, after an hour of running, Bobby came in. They were pretty much alone.

"Valencia's doing a pottery class with your husband." He explained, starting up the machine next to her. She didn't slow down, but nodded,

"Thom likes pottery."

"So is it for the money?" Bobby asked as he started running

"Excuse me?" Ziva panted

"Well, obviously the guy's gay. He probably married you out of pressure from his family or book audience. Probably his family." Bobby shrugged, not caring, "But why would you willingly marry a gay guy? I think it's the money."

"No. I have my own fortune." Ziva said lightly, "And Thom is very much straight. He just has some…oddities."

"You're from money? I think I would know if you were," He muttered, frowning

"Arabic," She explained, crossing her arms, "Though technically, I do have money on the Israeli side of my family as well."

"Arabic." Bobby repeated and she nodded

"My mother was a Haswari. I was supposed to marry someone else, but Thom was a better fit." Ziva explained, deciding that was the best argument.

Bobby stopped his machine, "You've got PLO ties?"

"More _Hamas_ than PLO." Ziva lied expertly, "But that is not something I advertise or have taken advantage of."

"Ah."

"But I worry about them all the time, of course. They are like my family, after all,"

Her eyes flicker and she doesn't think of these Arabs. Instead, she thinks of Gibbs, Tony, McGee, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy, and of course, Jenny. How welcome they made her feel in America.

Bobby stared at her for a second. And as luck would have it, he decided to confide in an undercover NCIS Special Field Agent about how he could get more guns that she ever dreamed to help defend her side against Israel.

Ziva had almost _too_ much satisfaction in arresting the bastard, and reading him his rights. She felt bad for Valencia, but had a feeling that the bubbly girl would bounce back in no time.

-----

After hiring a PR to take care of the 'hoax', McGee yawned as he tried to open his door. But he was too tired to focus and put the lock in correctly. Good thing that Tony dropped him off.

He tried to ask Tony what was going on between him and Ziva, but Tony only told him to keep his mouth shut. McGee decided just to observe for a while and get the details from Abby.

He blinked again and scraped at his doorlock as he tried to get the key in it.

Tony had been tense as he dropped McGee off. It'd been odd, actually. If McGee wasn't so tired, he probably would've turned on the GPS in Tony's phone to see where Tony was going to end up. Odds were on Ziva's place.

After thirty seconds of trying, he yawned again and decided to take a break before attempting again.

Abby opened the door, trying to figure out why Tim wasn't coming in. Her face softened when she saw him against the wall, asleep. Bending down, she kissed him on the lips, feeling like the prince who wakes Sleeping Beauty up.

McGee absently kisses her back and she pulls away, happy to have his attention. His eyes are dim, but he has that dopey smile on his face, the one that she secretly loves most.

"_Abby_." He whispers to her, as if her name is the best thing his mouth has ever uttered. Or so she fancies. Nervous, Abby coaxes him to get up and come inside with her. She has so many questions for him, but he is too tired for questions.

"Abby cuddle." He mumbled, holding her hand as he led her to his bed, half asleep. He fell into it and Abby laughed at first, but happily crawled in, finding a place to sleep in between his chest (which was more ridged than she remembered) and his warm hands. Listening to his gentle breathing, she happily drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, she'd tell him that she loves him.

And then, she would interrogate him about the cruise.

-----

Gibbs handed Jenny the final report, flopping it on her desk. She hangs up the phone and glances at him, smiling warmly. It is as if their last conversation never happened.

"How are the children?"

"Squared away," Gibbs said, taking a seat, "Tony's at Ziva's place. They'll probably sneak around for five weeks until they realize that I know."

Jenny raised an eyebrow, "And what will you do then."

Gibbs shrugged, "I'll give them my blessing, if that's what you're asking. But that's not going to stop me from referencing Rule Twelve or examples of why romance doesn't work in the workplace."

"Why?" Jenny asked, a small smile curving on her face

Gibbs shrugged, grinning. He took a sip of his ever present coffee and Jenny groaned,

"Jethro, it's practically midnight and you're still drinking that swill? Don't you _sleep_?"

Gibbs just grunted, "I don't want you splitting up my team because of DiNozzo finally fell for a good girl."

Jenny nodded, "Well, SOP permits inter-office romance as far as NCIS is concerned. I thus, see no reason in the foreseeable future why your team would be split up." She cocks her head, "DiNozzo's really fallen huh?"

Gibbs nodded, thinking. "If he's tells me, that's how I'll know."

"Know what?" Jenny asked, confused

"They he loves Ziva enough to risk my wrath." Gibbs explained simply, "That's why my rules work."

Jenny rolled her eyes, "Oh Jethro,"

"Oh Jenny." Gibbs smiled, looking at her

She laughed and shook her head, "Come on, you can give me a ride home. We still need to discuss the matter of Abby and McGee anyway."

Gibbs nods. And like that, the two leave, discussing the tie that binds them together: their unconventional family.

------

**My only regret is that I didn't really get a chance to highlight Gibbs' relationship with the Gibblets. And the lack of brotherly love between Tim and Tony…but I don't know, this was just the way it ended out.**

**Uh, please review?**


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